he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
