He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm too high and old for this...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
