she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
