She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
