The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
