Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
