If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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