My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
