No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
