Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
