she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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