Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
