there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
