Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We just shotgunned beers for America
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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