it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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