Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
