Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
