i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Your penis caused this!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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