I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
