spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
