so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
