it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
