You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
