I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
