on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
