i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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