i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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