Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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