Don't make out with my wife yet
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
