I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
