smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she peed on how many people?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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