end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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