ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
tell me about the eggs
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
