covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
