is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Randomize
