im about as happy as oj after his trial
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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