May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
