So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
