I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
