so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
