Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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