I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Girls should come with a carfax report
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
