Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My underwear smells like fireworks.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
