Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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