if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
