Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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