WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
