So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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