I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
