Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
